Lyrics
I am not throwing away my socks.
I am not throwing away my socks.
Hey, yo, they’re just slightly crusty,
They’re old, scrappy and musty.
But I’m not throwing away my socks.
Yea, I could fill a garbage bag from in the basement
They’re all just ragged now
But hell if I’m gonna replace ‘em
The problem is with half their matching pairs and where all they went
Ya gotta ponder as they get lost, with every wash, to their placement
What’s, there a tiny little hole?
Hiding in the back?
A Narnian dryer crack
Vacuuming half of the stack?
Where are they at?
Only Nineteen Socks left to hold me,
Outlasting all the other nine hundred they’ve sold me
All the stains and rips and water damage,
holes I’ve tried to bandage,
demonstrate the disadvantage
when counterparts Vanish!!
‘Cause,see, the ballance is challenging when they’re not the same
So yea, they’re wearing thin, so let me tell you their names:
I got my Puma, Smartwool, Knee-high, Tights
Toe sock, Anklet,
Lefts and rights:
A colony
Of independent hosiery
These foot mittens ain’t quittin’ on me senselessly.
It’s meant to be
that some of them depend on me
To explore what I’ve found through this tendency
And bear with me:
I think they’ve noticed that I see
behind this vast laundry hostage conspiracy.
Actually, I just gotta tell ya, see.
Nobody’s shocked that this popped up eventually.
So why not topple it from the bottom while we set them free?
Potentially they’re the key of the century!
CHORUS
I am not throwing away my socks
I am not throwing away my socks
Hey, yo, they’re just slightly crusty,
They’re old scrappy and musty
But I’m not throwing away my socks
I am not throwing away my socks
I am not throwing away my socks
Hey, yo, they’re just slightly crusty,
They’re tattered and battered but trust me
I’m not throwing away my socks
Let’s go and get the Socks!
​
[Sock 1]
"I dream of life without a laundry day.
Your loose change is nothing to the price we pay.
Stressed are we?
Permanent pressed, we are, by tragedy.
I’ll brave the other side and come back raggedy
with my socks!”
[Sock 2]
“Hey, I'm a sock from Adidas,
and I brought y’all arch support,
so lovely to meet ya’s.
I'm joining the rebellion
'cause it’s time to win back
the others from my pack,
since they got sucked in the trap
Let's go and get the Socks”
[Return to Main]
And but we'll never be truly free
until those in hostage have escaped the machinery
You and I
Tumble dry
Wait ‘til I tally my cotton battalion
‘Bout a thousand thread count rallyin’ !
Let’s go and get the Socks!
I know I sound crazy
and I hope that I’m not.
But the powers that be
can be fought if we caught
whoever took the Socks!
And hey, here’s what I got
I’m thinkin' Hanes and Gen. Electric got a piece in this plot:
got two monopolies on lock,
they’re shipping the globe ‘round the clock;
could snatch a sock after every cycle just to restock
‘Cause what are the odds the cogs would swallow one of each sock,
snaggin’ a poly-nylon, wool and cotton outta their flock?
I smell a sock Illuminati
On a mission of perniciousness.
Let’s scribble some petition.
Show me where the trade commission is!
I've hardly done this song outside before
and I’m never in front of a crowd
So maybe help me sing this out loud?
​
CHORUS
I am not throwing away my
…Socks!
I am not throwing away my
…Socks!
Hey, yo, they’re just slightly crusty.
They’re old, scrappy and musty,
but I’m not throwing away my socks
We are not throwing away our
…Socks!
We are not throwing away our
…Socks!
Hey, yo, they’re just slightly crusty.
They’re tattered and battered but trust me.
I’m not throwing away my socks
[Spoken:]
Citizens, countrymen
Let us lift high these brave survivors.
They are but the footsoldiers,
Going toe to toe within the empire
Within the inner workings of the machinery
Let’s never buy into it again.
Let’s buy nothing
[Sung]
We’re gonna buy nothing
til you’re living on the streets
Just buy nothin,
Till there’s blood under your feet
You gotta buy nothing
leave your blisters untreated
And buy nothin.
Aw, fuck your feet,
You gotta buy nothing
Go ahead and call it done
You gotta buy nothing
Take the system for a run
You gotta buy nothing
I should maybe get a gun
No, wait no, here’s something. wait.
I lose so much stuff by now I worry for my memory
Did I just forget these?
Am I at the center of this tendency?
When I do my laundry is it gone just because of me?
Does my only quandary rest on me?
But see, I never thought I’d lose more than 20.
Now I’m someone done running out of money
I think somebody’s stealing from the batch
And they’re trafficking.
While we’re gaslit.
And giving them our cash.
We don’t ask.
That’s funny
Fuck that.
This is not confusion; it’s extortion.
We give them our laundry and
they’re laundering a fortune.
I’m exposin’ why we’re mad when we throw our clothes in.
Let’s show them this won’t be had
And when
We.
Can avenge our fallen garments,
Pass a class action that falls on their departments:
Will it pop off in a war in which they harm us,
igniting the bout of fighting that’s calling us all to arm up?
I know that acts of attacks are not befitting,
but Jesus,
Between the crying and quitting, I’ve been idly knitting
We need command upon the Man’s configuration of monopolistic cop outs
we resent without representation.
I’m past patiently fakin’ mismatching in my fashion.
Every step I’m taking is a passion for batches forsaken!
I’m packing up the place and hoping you follow
Now give me those socks back, they’re only to borrow
CHORUS
I am not …giving away my socks
I am not giving away my socks.
Hey, yo, they’re just slightly crusty,
they’re scrappy and kind of busted
Thank you, I really do need them.
We are not giving away our socks!
We are not giving away our socks!
Hey, yo, they’re just slightly crusty,
they’re tattered and battered and super fucked up.
And they’re all orphans.
And you can really help them: if you have orphan socks,
For the price of a cup of coffee
You could buy another sock but don’t do that.
We are not giving away our … Socks!